The experience of miscarriage is a deeply personal and often unspoken grief. While not traditionally associated with a specific birthstone in the conventional sense, gemstones are increasingly being used as symbols of remembrance and acknowledgement of pregnancy loss. This practice draws upon the long-held tradition of assigning meaning to stones, and utilizes birthstones connected to the anticipated due date of the lost pregnancy. This article explores the evolving use of gemstones in memorializing miscarriage, drawing from available sources regarding their symbolic connection to loss, and the ways in which they are incorporated into remembrance jewelry and gardens.
History and Lore
Historically, birthstones have been linked to astrological signs and associated with specific qualities and powers. However, the application of birthstones to pregnancies lost before birth is a relatively recent development. The practice appears to stem from a desire to acknowledge the brief life and potential of the pregnancy, and to provide a tangible symbol of grief and remembrance for parents.
One source details a mother who wears a ring with five stones, three representing children lost to miscarriage, alongside her children’s birthstones. This illustrates a personal tradition of using gemstones to represent pregnancies that did not come to term. The act of assigning a birthstone based on the anticipated due date provides a sense of identity and recognition to the lost pregnancy, integrating it into the family’s narrative.
The concept of memorializing loss through tangible objects is not new. Throughout history, mourning jewelry incorporating hair, portraits, or other personal items has been common. The use of birthstones in this context represents a contemporary adaptation of this tradition, utilizing the established symbolism of gemstones to create a meaningful keepsake.
Geological Formation and Sources
The provided sources do not contain information regarding the geological formation or mining locations of specific gemstones used in miscarriage remembrance jewelry. They do, however, mention the use of cubic zirconia and crystal birthstones. Cubic zirconia is a synthetic gemstone, created in a laboratory setting, and therefore does not have natural sources. Crystal birthstones, while often referred to generally, can encompass a wide range of natural gemstones, each with its own unique geological origins.
The sources mention garnet and sapphire as examples of birthstones used in remembrance jewelry, suggesting that these, and other birthstones, may be chosen based on the month of the anticipated due date. Garnet forms in metamorphic rocks and is found in locations such as India, Russia, and the United States. Sapphire, a variety of the mineral corundum, is found in Myanmar, Sri Lanka, and Australia, among other locations. However, the sources do not specify the origin of the stones used in the described jewelry.
Gemological Properties
The sources provide limited gemological information, primarily focusing on materials used in commercially available miscarriage necklaces. One necklace is described as crafted with 14k white gold over 925 Sterling Silver, featuring a 6mm round cut cubic zirconia as a center stone, surrounded by smaller cubic zirconia. Cubic zirconia has a hardness of 8.5 on the Mohs scale, making it relatively durable, and a refractive index of 2.15-2.18, giving it a brilliant sparkle.
Another necklace option is made of 14k gold fill or sterling silver and includes a 6mm crystal birthstone. The term “crystal birthstone” is broad, encompassing various gemstones with differing properties. For example, a garnet birthstone has a hardness of 6.5-7.5 on the Mohs scale, while a sapphire birthstone has a hardness of 9 on the Mohs scale. The specific properties of the birthstone chosen will vary depending on the month it represents.
The personalized necklace also includes an angel wing charm and a 1/2 inch disc with a footprint design, personalized with the baby’s name. These elements are not gemstones but contribute to the overall symbolic meaning of the jewelry.
A table summarizing the properties of the materials mentioned is provided below:
| Material | Composition | Hardness (Mohs) | Refractive Index |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cubic Zirconia | Zirconium Dioxide | 8.5 | 2.15-2.18 |
| Sterling Silver | Silver & Copper Alloy | 2.5-3 | N/A |
| 14k White Gold | Gold & White Alloys | 2.5-3 | N/A |
| Garnet | Silicate | 6.5-7.5 | 1.71-1.89 |
| Sapphire | Aluminum Oxide | 9 | 1.76-1.77 |
Symbolism and Metaphysical Beliefs
The primary symbolism associated with gemstones in the context of miscarriage remembrance is that of acknowledging and honoring a life lost too soon. The choice of a birthstone linked to the anticipated due date imbues the stone with a personal connection to the pregnancy.
The use of the “Love Knot” design in one necklace symbolizes an unbreakable bond between two souls, representing the enduring love between the parents and the child. The angel wing charm is a common symbol of remembrance and represents the baby’s spirit. The footprint design on the personalized necklace further emphasizes the tangible presence of the lost child.
Beyond these specific symbols, the broader metaphysical beliefs associated with birthstones may also come into play. Each birthstone is traditionally believed to possess certain healing properties and energies. While these beliefs are not scientifically proven, they can provide comfort and meaning to grieving parents. For example, garnet is associated with passion and vitality, while sapphire is associated with wisdom and serenity.
The sources also suggest incorporating colors into a “memory garden” based on the baby’s zodiac sign and gender. This practice extends the symbolic use of color beyond gemstones, creating a holistic environment of remembrance.
Care and Cleaning
The care and cleaning of miscarriage remembrance jewelry will depend on the materials used. Sterling silver and 14k gold fill require regular cleaning to prevent tarnishing. This can be achieved using a silver polishing cloth or a mild soap and water solution. Cubic zirconia and crystal birthstones can be cleaned with a soft brush and warm soapy water.
It is important to avoid harsh chemicals or abrasive cleaners, as these can damage the gemstones and the metal settings. Given the sentimental value of these pieces, gentle care is essential to preserve their beauty and meaning.
Conclusion
The use of gemstones as symbols of remembrance for miscarriage is a growing trend, reflecting a desire to acknowledge and honor pregnancies lost. While not a traditional practice, it draws upon the established symbolism of birthstones and mourning jewelry to create meaningful keepsakes for grieving parents. The choice of a birthstone linked to the anticipated due date provides a personal connection to the lost pregnancy, while the incorporation of other symbolic elements, such as angel wings and footprints, further enhances the emotional significance of the jewelry. The practice highlights the enduring power of symbolism in navigating grief and finding solace in remembrance.